who is this

I never used to get angry. Anger seemed like an emotional taboo – keep it hidden or it will hurt people. Better yet, don’t feel it at all. I stuffed it down until it transformed into a nice manageable package, blood red and pulsating. Replace anger with silence turned into my life’s motto, and I continued to take the passive approach, because confronting the source of my anger seemed too risky and harsh. I would rather deal with little explosive sacks of anger burning inside of me then resolve something.
Lately, though, anger has been toxic. Each irritation throws another weight on the pile until I can’t take it anymore. It’s not that I lash out at people, it’s that I let each incident sear into my mind until my outlook becomes cynical and bitter. Anger poisons from the inside out, like a cancer infecting gentleness and tenderness. It spreads and grows and worsens, fueled by itself. It corrodes the sweet words, and sarcasm leaks in as the kindness becomes hollow.
I get angry at school over too many things: schoolwork, a test grade, things I hear people say, the way high schoolers treat each other. It grows like a disease. Then I get home and I’m angry about homework, lack of time, being tired. Then I lie in my bed and I’m angry about myself.

I’ve been guilty about my anger. After reading some passages, I noticed that Jesus got angry, too. His passion for people, his LOVE for people, ignited anger when they were treated badly, or when they hurt themselves by turning away from God. He used his anger to bring about change – to call people out and to seek justice. He used anger to advance a more righteous life that God desired. Really, his anger was mixed with grief. My anger is just pure rage, and it’s almost never constructive.
I have a lot to learn regarding anger and how to use it for good. Anger is not wrong, but it can lead to wrong actions. Let Christ teach you how to handle this tough emotion, and it can turn into righteous passion instead. Let injustice and ungodliness provoke anger instead of pointless worldly events.

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” – Psalm 129: 23-24

New favorite song: You Mean The World To Me – David Gray

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