yeah so

Hey, I’m Amanda, and I used to write on here. Then I disappeared for a couple months under massive amounts of schoolwork, stress, and obligations. That already makes too many excuses. I was convicted when I signed in and saw that I was still, somehow, receiving about 10 views per day. I’m so sorry to whoever it is that was still regularly checking this thing (Kelli and Liza – that’s probably you). Anyway, enough with that.

We returned from Spring Break a couple hours ago. My family and I went to Hunting Island in South Carolina. I ran every morning and it got progressively easier throughout the week. Something about the beach makes it easy to run. The sand just expands into the horizon and you lose track of how far you’ve gone and how far is left to go, so you just continue running and wondering at the people and the little angel girl splashing at the water’s edge and the grandpa holding his wife’s hand under an umbrella. The sand was liquid gold and decorated with fragments of shells, broken and crushed yet still beautiful and delicate, kind of like people. I journaled every single day, rattling truths and shaky realizations, because I swear the ocean penetrates through the shields in front of my eyes. It reveals the world’s intricacies, undraping just enough mystery to make sense  – but to stay spiritually captive. It waters down situations, purifies them, makes them easier to take in and understand.
I walked by the water a couple of nights. It was just me, gentle waves, and the moon. These memories are between me and the One who’s pumping life into my veins. The memories from that night are good secrets that give me some connection to God. Bad secrets are bombs that echo in your chest, collide with the lining of your heart, and send those jagged fragments into a freefall. Those good personal God memories are like rubies that he and I hold under the table. Every so often I peek under the tablecloth and see it glistening and then I remember why He’s next to me.
Take time to be alone with God. Make those memories, preserve them, and reflect on them.

New favorite song: Healing In Your Arms – Luminate