playback

We presented a play in Spanish today. We wrote our own scripts, memorized the lines, and braced ourselves for an awkward presentation. It was filled with stutters, “Uhhh”s, and a random “..Si!” when we forgot the next words. Much to the class’ dismay, Sra. Acevedo videotaped our presentations.  Right after we finished, she uploaded them to her computer and we watched our plays. 
I realized how nervous I look when I’m in front of the class.
I realized that I never made eye contact. Apparently the floor tiles were very interesting.
I realized that my backpack looks like it’s swallowing me.
I realized that my voice could hardly be heard.
I realized that I said “uhh” and had random pauses every 2 seconds.

It’s weird to see yourself through a different lens. It’s like when you hear your voice on the answering machine and you think, “is that really how I sound?”. We don’t always notice how we act, because we can’t see ourselves the way we see other people. Sometimes, we know more about other people’s mannerisms and ways better than our own.
Has anyone ever pointed out something that you do, and you were completely unaware of it? 
I’m sure there are things I do that look really bad, and I’m naive to them. It’s an unsettling thought. If we know ANYTHING, it should be ourselves – right?  Wrong? 
In some ways, we are oblivious to how we appear to the world. Without watching the video, I could’ve told you what my partners did wrong. It would have been easy to point out their mistakes, what looked weird, and their personal quirks. Yet, I was clueless when it came to how I looked. 
Without watching that video, I wouldn’t have realized how I presented myself. As I was presenting, I thought I was doing somewhat well, looking up, and speaking clearly and loudly. 
Different perspectives are needed in order to see what should change.
 

New favorite song: Set Me Free – Casting Crowns

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