something better

Our society has turned love into something perverse instead of pure and divine. It has turned physical and based on sight and impulse. Sometimes we all feel desperate for love. We want to feel cared for, wrapped in warmth and some sense of security. Someone to offer a reasurrance that everything is okay, that we are worth it, that we are wanted. It seems like in high school, the primary way that is offered is not real love. It’s lust, it’s the moment. But the thing is, I don’t want to settle. I see girls deserving to be treated like royalty, and instead they’re treated like an object. 
One day last year, I got out of class because I had to take a note to the office. In green wing, there was a guy scolding his girlfriend. She was pushed against the lockers, and his anger was obvious. He raised his hand as if to smack her, and then knocked the books out of her hand instead. Then, he walked away.
Last Wednesday in advisory, I overheard a conversation from a group of guys that sit behind me. We were nominating girls for homecoming court. The guys had very specific ways of deciding who to nominate. They started talking about everything rumored about the girls, what they knew from dating them, etc. I felt sick.
No matter how alone or lonely I feel, I’m willing to wait to give any part of my heart to someone. It’d be easy to believe the hollow “I love you,” that’s really just focused on self gain. It’d be easy to fall into being “wanted” by the wrong person. We are so much more valuable than a carved out picture of love. We could have so much more than a messy, complicated, unholy relationship. So, this boy tries to persuade me over and over that he’s sincere…
But when I see his life, it says differently. 
As I’m faced by his true motives, it says differently.
I am reminded of our worth when I see the cross, and that will keep me from settling.

New favorite song: Ready For Change – Ben Rector