one more thing.

Give it over to God. Ask for forgiveness. Walk away. Recover.
And I think: Now is not the time. I’m not in the right place, this isn’t something quick and easy. I can’t just sit down and say, ‘God, take this away, forgive me, make me new.’ If it was something small and managable, this could work. But not tonight. Not tomorrow/this week/this month. Not with this. It’s going to take something bigger. It’ll happen eventually.

Every repentance has started with a simple “God, forgive me.”
All recoveries begin with an easy “God, help me.”
Yet, I continually believe those words aren’t enough to cover my dirt. That now is not the time.
But if not now, when? When is there EVER going to be a “perfect” time? Never! I’ll be waiting until I’m in a good place, but it won’t come —BECAUSE I keep waiting instead of taking action.
Shut up, brain.